dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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