38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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