well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
