she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
