So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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