I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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