it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
