I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
