i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your cock deserves a montage
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
