Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
