The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
