Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
