I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
BRING THE BAGELS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
