uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
