I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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