all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize