If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
