just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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