Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
