Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
