Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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