I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
