i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
