The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
