Do you still have your period?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
