Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
