If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
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