Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
