just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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