I molested 6 butterflies tonight
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
