I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
