This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that's an acceptable place to lick
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
