grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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