This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
