You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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