3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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