We're facebook friends in real life
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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