you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
