There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
