No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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