So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
