I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm just crazy horny about you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
