apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize