I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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