Cold hands, warm shart.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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