I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
