After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
vagina is talking i cant
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize