he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the day after is always just damage control
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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