I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
