I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
how does that bad decision feel?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
