Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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