I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
