dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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