What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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