i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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