Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
