Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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