hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
