"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize