they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
