3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My pussy is not your playground.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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