I skipped work to stalk him.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
