Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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