capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
