I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
