arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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