No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
